If you’re like me — and since you’re reading this, let’s assume you are — you know that there’s a difference in gins that spans galaxies. Some other people may scoff and think a Tanqueray is a Boodles is a 209, but we know better.

Take Aviation, an 84 proof libation from House Spirits Distilling in Portland, Oregon. They took juniper (of course, because otherwise it wouldn’t be gin) and added cardamom, coriander, lavender, anise seed, sasparilla and dried orange peel and came up with a delightfully cool, clear, clean gin suitable for any Martini glass. If you’re looking for subtle, baby, this ain’t it.

$29.99 at BevMo

A Martini is gin and vermouth (or even just gin) with olives. A Gibson is gin and vermouth (or ditto) with cocktail onions. But what’s gin and vermouth (etc.) with a tangy Tomolive called?

If you’ve never had a tomolive, you’re definitely missing the boat. These small pickled tomatoes from Arkansas put the tang in tangy. If you want something with a bit of a punch in your next cold concoction (even if you prefer vodka!) spear a couple of Tomolives and wait for the salty gush. Heartily recommended!

$5.90 from Bryant Preserving

One is always on the lookout from something unique to give on those special occasions like new babies, birthdays, anniversaries and Groundhog Day. Chocolates spring to mind, because who doesn’t like chocolate?

You’d better hope the person you’re giving this box to loves chocolate, because the box it comes in is 100% edible dark chocolate with a 100% edible white chocolate lid. Tucked inside are 18 Fleur de Sel Caramels coated in more bittersweet chocolate, all from our friends at Charles Chocolates here in San Francisco — creators of the P.M.S. Assortment for the gal who might need a once-a-month fix. Aren’t they thoughtful?

$45.00 from Charles Chocolates.

When it’s time to lift a glass in celebration, people’s minds usually turn to Champagne. Sure, it bubbles and it makes a loud pop and it’s occasionally delicious, but more often it’s sour and ugly and leaves your head aching. Plus, it’s such a cliché! You don’t want to be that person, do you?

So the next time you’re called upon to make an impression, bring along a bottle of The Macallan 18 Year scotch. If you don’t consider yourself a Scotch drinker, this is the first one to try. Expensive? Damn straight. Worth it? Every drop. Hints of citrus, vanilla and cinnamon on the nose, it tastes of spice, clove, orange and wood smoke and finishes up with a hint of ginger.

Plus it’ll knock you on your ass. Sip sparingly, because it won’t last forever…

$139.99 at Beverages & More!

I can only imagine how horrific these things actually are, because I’m not about to buy and/or use them at any point. But the unique nature of them forces me to present them to you and let you decide whether their inate horror fits into your idea of holiday fun.

These are, as you see, edible candycane shotglasses. Yes, they really are. If you’re one of those who just loves Peppermint Schnapps, or you have a feeling that pouring a freezing shot of Grey Goose into these and then downing the minty fresh taste sounds ducky, grab a set and have a ball. But also keep in mind that handling them is apt to lead to fairly sticky situations — not that that’s a bad thing underneith the mistletoe.

$9.00 for a set of 2 at UrbanOutfitters.com

Sometimes, I think they go too far. And by “they,” I’m referring to the people out there dreaming up new things for us to buy. Take, for example, Sucres Décorés, coming to us from France via Dean & Deluca.

They’re not just sugar cubes, they’re decorated sugar cubes. I can hear Martha Stewart’s acute orgasms from here. Think of the preciousness! You get 30 hard little white squares of sugar, and each one is carefully decorated with a winter-themed portrait. Sleds, Christmas trees, and reindeers dance across these rather silly but, God help me, really amazing and highly unusual party favors. Your guests will either scream in delight or merely scream.

$22.00 at Dean & DeLuca.

Did you know that I am a tiny bit Jewish? Russian Jew, to be precise. My mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother, I believe. Not sure how many times removed that makes me, but it may explain my love of Kosher edibles, particularly of the breakfast variety.

Latkes aren’t just for breakfast, but that’s how I think of them. Potato pancakes with onion, served either with sour cream or apple sauce, and hopefully both! But making them is anything but fun. Now you and I can indulge our cravings easily, because Ruthie and Gussie (well, really Ruthie’s son and Gussie’s nephew Steve) offer up frozen latke batter just like my mom never made. Available in 16oz. or 28oz. tubs, you just spoon out the batter into a greased pan, fry them up and serve them to yourself with, if you’re lucky, a side of salmon and caviar.

Like Ruthie and Gussie says, they’re 100% kvetch proof.

$3.99 for 16oz. or $5.49 for 28oz. at Kosher.com.

As the days and nights grow colder, nothing quite satisfies me like a warm cup of hot chocolate. Decadent and delightful in equal measures, I’m first entranced by the scent as is wafts from the steaming brew, then happily guzzling the rich brown sweetness before it cools off.

You can, of course, pick up a cannister of Nestle’s Quik at Safeway, but then you’ll be cheating yourself out of a truly special mug of deliciousness courtesy our friends in France. L’ancienne Hot Chocolate Powder is not sold by retail outlets, it’s offered only by top hotels such as George V and The Ritz. This 1 kilo carton contains only cocoa, refined cane sugar and natural Bourbon vanilla. And that’s all. You add the hot milk (remember never to scald your milk and use the full fatty version rather than low- or non-fat to really experience the richness of this concoction) stir and sink into chocolate heaven.

$23.99 at Chefshop.com.

Have you ever wondered what sort of magic palette wine connoisseurs have that allows them to sense so many flavors and nuances from a simple sip of wine? What are all the pieces that are coming together in their mouth that tells them whether that Pinot Grigio is worth the investment, or why one wine rates spectacular while another one just plain sucks?

Wine Spectator magazine comes to your rescue! In a 21-page PDF, they detail exactly what it is you’re trying to sense when your sniffing and swirling and spitting your Chardonnay. How important are color and acidity? Is haziness ever a good thing in wine? What’s the difference between Finish, Balance and Complexity? And what the hell are a wine’s Legs and what have they got to do with anything?

Download and read the guide and soon you’ll be sucking on grape like the best of them. No more will you take the glass from the sommelier without knowing exactly what it is you’re expected to be doing to that sample of wine. Go forth, young wine taster, and swirl and sniff with confidence! And don’t forget your Tasting Journal.

Free at Wine Spectator School.

Here in San Francisco, one of our claims to fame is the It’s-It. Invented in 1928, amusement park owner George Whitney sandwiched vanilla ice cream between two oatmeal cookies, covered the whole shebang in chocolate, froze the thing and voila, It’s-It! The amusement park is long gone, but It’s-It lives on.

But what if you could make your own delicious and decadent ice cream sandwiches! Imagine cooking up a sheet of chocolate-caramel chip macadamia cookies, cutting them out and sandwiching Häagen Dasz (or better yet, your own homemade) Dulce de Lecce between them? Could your taste buds even survive?

Now you can put them to the test and make any cookie-ice cream combination sandwich you can dream up with Williams-Sonoma’s Ice Cream Sandwich Maker. Press out a couple dozen and invite your friends over for a sugar melt-down before the summer dies.

$9.99 at Williams-Sonoma.

When I was in Hawaii last year, at every coffee shop’s set-up station along with the packets of sugar and Equal and Splenda and milk and cream, there was another bottle of what looked like thick water. Whatever the stuff was, it came in a clear wine bottle with a spigot. When I finally asked someone what it was, I was told “that’s liquid sugar. It comes from here.” And since I’m a big fan of trying new things…

It was, in a word, miraculous. It was pre-disolved so it mixed in perfectly. It didn’t have the usual weird after-taste that syrup sometimes has, and there were no globs of sweetness that I ran into where the sugar hadn’t melted in my coffee, yet. Also, it had a hint of molasses like my all-time favorite sugar, Turbinado.

So I found it! Here’s Plantation White Liquid Cane Sugar. This is the real deal, made in Maui and perfect for hot or cold beverages. Sick of waiting for the sugar to dissolve in your iced tea? Want something that mixes into your perfect cup o’ Joe and adds to your overall enjoyment. Then this needs to be on your shelf.

$5.95 at Surfas.

Nothing says decadent like chocolate, and nothing says super decadent chocolate like molten chocolate cake. This is the dessert that you’re served after gorging at a fine restaurant and you cut into it and thick, warm, rich liquid chocolate pours out across your plate just before you pick the whole thing up and rub your face into it.

But why wait? Now you can make it at home without worrying about screwing up the recipe, because Williams-Sonoma has prepped everything for you in a lovely dark brown hatbox carton—with a ribbon! Taking pure cocoa and premium bittersweet chocolate and your 15 minutes of baking time (plus lots of butter! mmmm, butter…) gives you 10 mini cakes.

$24.00 at Williams-Sonoma.

Is it raining there? It’s raining here. They say that April showers bring May flowers, but when the skies are gray and the ground is covered in puddles, what I want is some honest hot cocoa, and not that dry powdered crap that sticks in clumps to the spoon and lies at the bottom of the glass all unmixed and not delicious.

Yes, there is such a thing as gourmet hot cocoa mix, and Joseph Schmidt has it. Rather than use a powder, their Hot Chocolate Dark Pleasure is made of beads of pure Beligian chocolate mixed with vanilla essence. Use that silly espresso maker you bought and used once to steam some milk, then add 2 tablespoons of cocoa heaven in and listen to the sound of the rain as you sip your way to nirvana.

$11.90 at Joseph Schmidt Confections.

Chocolate is the new wine. I’m not the one calling that, it’s official. I mean, I’m sure the wine people aren’t happy about it, but take my word for it, if you throw a chocolate party instead of a wine and cheese party, you’re going to get a lot more happy people attending.

If the only chocolate you’re familiar with comes in a brown fake-foil wrapper with a name begining with H that comes from Pennsylvania, you’re missing out on a world of dark dreams, my friend. What we have here is an extra dark bar from Dagoba Organic Chocolate in Oregon, and not just any chocolate bar but a dark, dark, deeply dark bar of 87% cacao that will fulfill every fantasy you may be harboring about getting the most chocolate per bite of any bar — bar none.

$2.69 each or 4 for $9.88 at World Wide Chocolate.

Are you the one who’s always expected to figure out where everyone is going out to eat? You’re probably a foodie, you keep up with new restaurant openings, know when the chefs change and look forward to your 2-month advance dinner at The French Laundry.

OpenTable is your online restaurant reservation source. It’s completely free, it covers most major metropolitan cities in the U.S. (and they now have a London version) and it’s practically guaranteed that you’ll be able to find a table somewhere for that sudden 8-person meet-up you weren’t expecting at 7:30 tonight.

I also use it to look for restaurants in cities I’ll be traveling to and get reservations in advance without the hassle of trying to find phone numbers and recommendations when I’m already there.

OpenTable - restaurants and restaurant reservations.

You sometimes hear the advertising cliché that goes, “We’re serious about…” blah blah blah. You know the phrase? “We’re serious about underwear.” “We’re serious about breath fresheners.” This supposedly means the purveyor isn’t some fly-by-night merchant out to make a fast buck, that they spend a good deal of time and energy making their underwear.

Blue Bottle Coffee Company really is serious about roasting coffee. My friend Judith IM’d me some weeks back saying how lucky I was to live in Hayes Valley here in San Francisco because east bay’s Blue Bottle had opened a new venue in my ‘hood. And she was right — although they keep weird hours and the place in question is down an alley (actually down my own street, which is like an alley) and they’re only open a few hours a day. But making the pilgrimage is damn well worth it.

And luckily for you, they also sell their wares online. These are not ordinary coffee beans, friends, these people aren’t just serious — they’re insane. Case in point: They will not sell beans more than 48 hours out of the roaster. You want fresh coffee? You want delicious? You want the best?

This is it. Try the Hayes Valley Espresso or the excellent Yemen.

$16.00 - $18.00 per pound at Blue Bottle Coffee Company.

This is one of those things I just had to share because I was reading about it and had one of those “Wha hah?” moments and had to take a closer look.

What we have here is a pair of chocolate bunnies, but not just any chocolate bunnies, not when we’re at Dean & Deluca, oh no, no, no. These are — get this — hand painted with milk and dark chocolate details! That’s right, someone handled your bunnies and painted her umbrella and eyes and coat fringe, and his boots and ruffled shirt and, yes, there it is, his man-purse.

$38.00 a pair at Dean & DeLuca. Next day shipping required.

My boyfriend refers to Joseph Schmidt truffles as “chocolate crack,” because you put one in your mouth and you think, ‘eh, they’re okay.’ But you’re in trouble if you put a second one in your gob, because there’s something about the second one that causes the pleasure synapses to suddenly snap into contact phase and your whole head starts spinning as the sweet lusciousness suddenly floods your taste buds with nothing but… mmmmmmm.

A San Francisco landmark, Jospeh Schmidt Confections occupies a tiny storefront on 16th Street in the Castro (a second store is now open in San Jose) and it’s like a jewelry store for chocoholics. But you don’t have to come here to sample the magic, this Easter box of a dozen assorted decadent delicacies in flavors like champaign, Hawaiian coconut, peach-Grand Marnier and peanut butter-praline can temporarily ease your craving for cool, perfect mouth beauty.

$25.00 at Joseph Schmidt Confections.

Every once in a while, everybody wants to suck something. Don’t deny it! You know it’s true. Whether that’s a butterscotch Lifesaver or a peppermint candy cane or your very own thumb, sucking is good for you.

So when I chanced upon Hammond’s Old Fashioned Hard Candy Drops, I knew I was on to something special — particularly when I noticed that they come not only in the usual flavors like lemon, cinnamon, root beer and ginger, but Hammond’s also features a flavor with the awe-inspiring name “horehound.” I immediately had to Google said word, and it turns out that horehound, contrary to what you’re undoubtedly thinking, is a bitter, apple-like flavor that, among other things, “stimulates phlegm.” Plus, c’mon, you know you want to make the following offer to someone: “Want to suck a horehound?”

$8.00 a tin at shopparcel.com.

Easter is fast approaching, and if you’re like me that only means one thing… candy! Hoards and hoards of it everywhere! And there’s nothing more Eastery than delicious, horrible, disgusting marshmallow Peeps — unless it’s the disgusting Peeps you make yourself!

Jesus must be smiling on us all, because now we can make Peeps whenever we crave them, including the bright pink and yellow sugar. This Peeps Marshmallow Maker comes with a Peep-crowned Peep injector and Peep molds to make as many cavity-creatures as you need. Just $8.00 more to replenish your Peeps mix to make more! And more!

$26.00 at fredflare.com.