You’re settled into your couch with a cool bubbly drink and a big bowl of fresh, hot, buttery popcorn ready for your Tarantino film fest weekend but you’re feeling a tad lonely. What’s a person to do?

Grab your very own Cuddley Gimp, of course! This pleather-covered plushie comes equipped with button eyes, strategic steel O-rings and red satin behind his mouth zipper. All he wants is to be loved. Very, very roughly.

$59.50 at PIXELGIRLSHOP.

Sometimes, the point of a scent is to smell like something else. When you’re looking for your signature scent, you want something unique that hopefully no one else in the room will have. It should be subtle but memorable, and it should remind the one you want nearest you of no one else but you.

Profumum creates a host of interesting and unusual perfumes that you won’t find at the cosmetics counter at Macy’s. And Acqua do Sale won’t be for everyone, but if you think there’s nothing more romantic than a seaside rendevous with the smell of salt spray and wave-tossed wood on the breeze, this is the perfume you’ve been searching for. Hints of myrtle and cedar are mingled with the salty tang of the ocean. This is drama in a bottle, my dear. Can you handle it?

$190 at Lucky Scent

When I lived in Vermont, I managed to have something in my overlarge apartment that I have come to realize is a real luxury for we poor renters. It was something of a necessity in an environment like that one, but I’ve always missed the unique charm and sensual bliss of a fireplace.

Thankfully, designer Carl Mertens has come up with the next best thing — the Tabletop Fireplace. Two stainless steel oil lamp “logs” criss-cross on a 10” x 14” slate base. You can fill your little space with all the scented candles you want, but none of those will provide the sex appeal of a fireplace in the middle of your living room. Trust me on that.

$320.00 at LACMA Online Store.

Ever felt like your sex life could use a boost? Things been… sort of… predictable lately? Lights out, clothes off, in-out, in-out sort of a deal? Maybe what you need is some inspiration to bring you and your partner more fun — and exercise!

Nerve.com’s “Position of the Day Book” provides 366 suggestions for new ways to explore your collective body parts. Some of these are, admittedly, not for the squeamish and perhaps “foolhearty” would be an apt description of the necessary mindset. Still, with a different new position available for every day of the year (even if it’s a leap year) you’re sure to find something to get your party started.

$9.95 at Wishing Fish.

As some of you already know, I love LUSH. There aren’t many companies I can get behind 100%, but this would be one of them. I haven’t been disappointed by any product of theirs that I’ve tried (so far), and when I visit a store the employees are always helpful without being pushy, and they have a sense of humor about their line of business.

I can’t help but smile knowingly when I hear “Everyone gather round, I’m going to demonstrate a Bath Bomb!” Because everyone always does gather round and then they all want some. Bath Bombs are effervescent globes you drop into a hot bath and then luxuriate in all their goodness. Big Blue is scented with lavender and lemon oils and contains seaweed and sea salt, turning your bath a deep Pacific turquoise. Try one with someone you love.

$3.95 at LUSH

When starting a three-way, who actually starts? When attempting to pick someone up, where is it best to look at the person in question? If one has a sudden urge to take a big dump when sex appears to be imminent, what should one do?

Questions, questions, questions. Take it from me, sex isn’t easy. Landmines lie between the sheets, my friends, and you simply cannot ask your paramour for advice when they’re the one you’re trying to, shall we say, fuck.

Nerve.com comes to the rescue with Nerve’s Guide to Sex Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen. Everything from table manners to booty call conduct to public nudity is covered in its nearly 200 pages, and if nothing else, leave it in the bathroom for some entertaining (and educational) light reading.

$9.00 at Amazon

This is a big ticket item, but since the ticket is currently less than half what it normally is, I thought I’d clue in those of you with a big empty space in your living rooms just begging for a sexy piece of designer furniture.

The Boomerang Chaise is carved from solid walnut, and its slender, seductive shape is enhanced with a curving ribbon of wood starting at the shoulder and leading down through the seat, extending to the legs. This is a big lounger, over five feet long, but it manages to look sturdy and sleek at the same time.

I test drove one at the DWR showroom here in San Francisco and I loved it, but it was also nearly two grand. When they say “within reach,” they don’t mean “cheap.” But now it’s much more affordable, so grab one of these Italian beauties while you can.

$849.95 at Design Within Reach.